holmelesswhovian:

i had this teacher and he always used to make this joke;
'where do pencils go on holiday?….pencilvania!'
but 
one lesson we were just reading quietly and he just stood up from marking tests and said 'Oh. My. God. Pennsylvania's a real place.'
then he started laughing so hard he covered his face with both hands and walked out and different teacher had to continue the lesson

7 hours ago · 98,957 notes

trudymonk:

why do good shows get canceled when american idol is in it’s 13th season

16 hours ago · 299,155 notes

slayboybunny:

heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitley not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im fucking allergic to bananas.  

22 hours ago · 248,501 notes

spoopykatee:

my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”

23 hours ago · 505,210 notes

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON HELP ME

have you tried turning it off and back on again

I HIT IT REALLY HARD AND STILL HASN’T TURNED OFF

there is no need to shout ma’am. have you tried turning it off and back on

I AM NOT SHOUTING

IT DOESN’T TURN OFF

ma’am, ma’am, have you tried turning it on & off again

1 day ago · 84,677 notes

unfollower:

i ordered pizza and i was like ‘hey sorry you have to work on thanksgiving’ to the delivery girl and she was like ‘i feel worse for the person ordering pizza on thanksgiving’ ouch

1 day ago · 318,089 notes

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

1 day ago · 643,426 notes

wealthyhugepenis:

my favourite part of the bible is when Jesus said that 1 like = 1 Prayer

1 day ago · 185,235 notes

likeyouwanna-be-loved:

lanadelreptar:

 ♪ White Lips, Pale Face 

image

*drops bass* MOTHERFUCKING UNITED STATES *guitar solo*

image

I’m not even American but this post is just too good not to reblog, omg

1 day ago · 434,800 notes

moriartystyles:

xamity:

naturalisse:

illustratographer:

I took a photo every 2 minutes over the span of about 2 hours at a 20 second exposure and animated it all together! This 2 second loop was the result! 
Craters of the Moon National Monument, Idaho

HOLY FUCK

holy fuck you can actually see how the earth turns by paying attention to the stars

this fucks me the fuck up